The Raven
by mitsukai-hime
Summary: Wufei narrates Poe's famus poem as he is pestered by chibi Bat-Duo. Review, and you just might get the chance to win him!! But I know you'd want to read anyway...


Disclaimer: Yes! You are correct! Mitsukai does not own Gundam Wing or the Raven! Chronos, tell them what they've won!  
  
Chronos: Well Mitsukai, they've won a chance to read your fic, a parody of the Raven!   
  
Well, now that we've got that over with...  
  
The Raven: a Gundam Wing remix  
  
Once upon a midday dreary, while I pondered, strong yet weary,  
Over a many just and powerful volume of forgotten lore,  
[Wufei sits in a giant study, reclining in a chair reading a book entitled, "Justice: Not for the weak"]  
While I sat there, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,  
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my study door.  
"Tis some visitor," I grumbled, "tapping at my chamber door-  
Only this, and nothing more."  
  
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bland November,  
And each separate fading ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.  
Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow  
From my books the end of sorrow- sorrow for my lost Meiran-  
For the rare and non-weak onna whom the angels call Meiran-  
Who with manga now has fans.  
[Wufei has his nose stuck in another book, now entitled "Justice and Gundams" He looks up at a picture of Meiran, which has a picture of Nataku next to it, and starts crying]  
  
And the quiet sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain  
Thrilled me- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before.  
[Wufei hugs his knees, quietly chanting, "Fear is for weaklings- I am not weak, fear is for weaklings, I am not weak..."]  
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I kept repeating:  
"It's some visitor, you weakling, wanting to enter my door'  
Some late visitor, you weakling, wanting entrance to my door;  
That is it, and nothing more."  
  
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,  
"Sir," I said, "or onna, truly your forgiveness I implore;  
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,  
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,  
That I wasn't sure I heard you-" Here I opened wide the door-  
Darkness there, and nothing more.  
[Wufei opens the door, and when he sees nothing there goes back to chanting, "Fear is for weakling, I am not weak..."]  
  
Deep into the darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,  
[Wufei cries, "I am not afraid! I'm just not feeling so brave right now..."]  
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;  
But the silence stayed unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,  
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word "Meiran!"  
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Meiran!"  
"Is she there?" asked wond'ring fans.  
[Wufei, not knowing what's happening, continues to cry, "NATAKU! NATAKU!"]  
  
Back inside my study turning, all my soul within me yearning,  
[Wufei sniffles, "Nataku... please come..."]  
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.  
"Surely," said I, "that is some thing at my window lattice:  
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore-  
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore-  
'Tis the wind and nothing more"  
[Wufei goes over to the window, then asks, "What's a lattice?"]  
  
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flit and flutter,  
In there stepped a devilish bat-thing of the war-torn days of yore;  
[Chibi Bat-Duo flies in, chirping happily]  
Not the least of movements made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;  
But, with look of lord or lady, perched above my study door-  
Perched upon a bust of Sally just above my study door-  
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.  
[Bat-Duo, looking pretty serious for a chibi, sits upon a bust of Sally staring at Wufei]  
  
Then this ebony bat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling  
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance he wore.  
"Though thy crest be shorn and dreary ,thou," I said, "art sure no weakling,  
Ghastly and ancient Bat-Duo wandering from the nightly shore-  
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"  
Quoth Bat-Duo, "Nevermore"  
  
Much I marveled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,  
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore;  
[Wufei sweatdrops. "Nani?"]  
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being  
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird upon his chamber door-  
Bird or beast upon the sculpted bust upon his chamber door,  
With such name as "Nevermore."  
  
But that Bat-thing, sitting lonely on that placid bust spoke only  
That one word, as if his soul in that one place he did outpour.  
[Duo begins to chant gleefully: "Nevermore! Nevermore!"]  
Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered  
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before-  
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.  
Then the bat said, "Nevermore!"  
  
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,  
"Doubtless," said I, "what if it utters is its only stock and store,  
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster  
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore-  
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy bore  
Of 'Never-nevermore'."  
["Dumb bat."]  
  
But the raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,  
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bat, bust and door;  
[Wufei looks around, "Where'd my popcorn go?"]  
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to inking  
Fancy onto fancy, thinking what this ominous bat of yore  
Meant in croaking "Nevermore"  
  
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing  
To the beast whose dancing eyes now burned into my bosom's core;  
[Jeopardy music starts playing]   
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining  
On the cushion's velvet violet lining with the lamplight floating o'er,  
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight floating o'er,  
She shall press, ah, nevermore!  
  
Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer  
Swung by seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.  
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent the- by these angels he hath sent me  
Respite- respite just to drug me, from thy memories of Meiran!"  
Drink, oh drink this kind remedy and forget her days of yore!"  
[Wufei chucks his book at Bat-Duo, "KISAMA!!"]  
Quoth Bat-Duo, "Nevermore."  
  
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!- prophet still, if bird or devil!-  
[Bat-Duo smirks, implying 'devil']  
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,  
Desolate yet all undaunted, on thi desert land enchanted-  
On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore-  
Is there- is there balm in Jikougu?- tell me- tell me, I implore!"  
Quoth Bat-Duo, "Nevermore."  
  
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil!- prophet still, if bird or devil!-  
By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God that I adore-  
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,  
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Meiran-  
Clasp a rare and radient maiden whom the angels name Meiran."  
[Wufei points to the picture of Nataku, "May have been seen with 17 meter Gundam known as Nataku, Shenlong or Altron."]  
Quoth Bat-Duo, "Nevermore."  
  
"Be that word our sign in parting, bat or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting-  
["HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT, WEAKLING?!?!"]  
"get thee back into the tempest and the night's Plutonian shore!  
Leave no bat fur as a token of the lie thy soul hath spoken!  
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!   
Take thy scythe from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"  
[Wufei grabs a broom and starts swinging at Bat-Duo, but ends up knocking down books reading "Ground Zero", "Blind Target", and "Episode Zero". They all fall down on Wufei's head, and Duo continues:]  
Quoth Bat-Duo, "Nevermore"  
  
And Bat-Duo, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting  
On the sighing bust of Sally just above my study door;  
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,  
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;  
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor   
Shall be lifted- nevermore!  
["NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
"Nevermore! Nevermore!"]  
  
Mitsukai-hime: So, what d'ya think? Review, review! The incentive this time? Hmm...  
  
Chronos: Bat-Duo! Quick, someone reviewing gets to save Wufei from skewering him!  
  
Wufei: Let me at him! Let me at him!  
  
Bat-Duo: NEVERMORE!!!  
  
Wufei: Argh!!!!  



End file.
